Can't Resist

Love can move mountains. Love conquers all. Love is patient and kind. These are only some of the many definitions of love but to those who were in love there are no exact words to explain the feeling. It is indefinable.

My friends and I were sharing about the conflicts we experienced with the relationships we are into. One of the things discussed that stick to my mind is on the notion that a guy who wants to settle down cannot wait longer for a girl to accept his proposal. They tend to end the relationship and look for a ready and available partner. I feared this scenario. I am in a six-year relationship and my guy had already been asking me for years when should we settle down. I had given him already a lot of alibis. My first alibi is that I should finish first my studies, second had been I should pass the CPA board exam, next alibi is to be able to have a job, then when his father died and my brother married I told him the it would be “sukob” and my last alibi had been to allow me to have a permanent status in my job or at least allow me to work and enjoy my salary as a single lady for a year. My alibis are running out. I had no more excuses not to accept his offer. That is why when we talked about something I stay away from the topic of settling down. One time out of my curiosity I asked him about the notion above if it is true. It opened for him a door to pour out all his frustrations regarding my pending answer to his proposal. He told me that he is already waiting for years and that he is already tired and bored of being single. He also told me that the notion above is true and as for himself if he could not have the answer he wanted for a period of time he is willing to end up the relationship and look for a much willing partner. His confessions hurt me a bit but he must respect that I have also my fears that hinders me to accept his proposal. I told him that I feared I might not be capable to have a child and that I feared my family’s reactions if we brought this up to them. He told me that he doesn’t care if we will have a child or not and almost seven years in this relationship is already enough time to prove that he is worthy for me. At that point of time, I come to a dilemma and could not decide what to do. On the next day, I decided to ignore him and I haven’t sent a text or called him for whole day. In the middle of the night he called and asked me why he hasn’t received a text coming from me. At that point I forgot my decision to ignore him, after a day of ignoring him feeling lifeless,I answered that I don’t have a load and that I am trying to save some money. He knows that I am joking so I just laugh it out with him. With his kindness and overflowing love, I can’t resist ignoring him or doing something that might hurt his feelings. It is like I could feel what he feels whether he is happy or sad. I knew he feels the same way for me because when I pour out my problems, heartaches and frustrations to him sometimes he would beg to minimize doing it because he is also affected. Amazing, this is what love can do and after several years of being together it is nice to know that we are still happy in love with each other. Still, only God knows what the future holds for us.


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